Letters: Kayla Greaves

“For our “Letters” series, we asked two Black women in the creative/media space to open up about their unique experiences through academic institutions, social spaces and the corporate world.
In this letter, Kayla Greaves, a senior beauty editor at Instyle Magazine opens up about the angry Black woman stereotype and how it has affected her entire life.”

Growing up in Oakville was a trip. But let me tell you how being in a predominantly white suburban town in Canada, raises a woman who understands that finding your voice is almost mandatory, and speaking up against stereotypes, implicit biases, and microaggressive racism becomes second nature.

The first time it occurred to me that my emotions were going to be silenced and misconstrued, was in my high school science class. Imagine watching all your white peers express frustration in peace, and the minute you join in, the words “Black girl attitude” are thrown back in your face. That was the first time I realized society had an outright problem with me being human. I had already internalized whatever was projected on to me physically. As a Black girl in high school, I believed I was an ugly duckling, and accepted that I would be othered; but to know that they too didn’t want to hear how I felt, and if I expressed it I would be villainized? I wouldn’t stand for it anymore.

I unlearned.

By university, I would not tolerate anyone silencing me. My voice, my opinion, my resilience would be heard. I would watch everyone around me get uncomfortable as I spoke up. I saw again that this trope would dehumanize me, but I did not care. And I don’t care because Black women deserved to be seen, and more importantly heard. As I have knocked down each barrier society has put in place, I take on an immense amount of responsibility to ensure my words don’t leave anyone out.

Now, I sit in every office prepared to remind everyone about the culturally diverse world we are currently celebrating, and make sure everyone’s story is reflected in every piece written. Every time I am in an environment where there is lack of representation, I speak up. The truth is, what I am saying is not offensive, it’s just whoever I’m saying it to doesn’t like to be held accountable. My words now not only serve as a way to entertain and educate in the magazines, and/or different platforms I write for; but I am also educating the people working in these spaces as well. I want my co-workers to always leave having learned something new about what it is like to be a Black woman. I want them to remember we exist, we are magical, and determined to be seen as who we are, not whatever trope or  stereotype they are projecting on us.

Young sisters, as you use your words to inspire, recognize when to take accountability for your actions, and when someone is projecting their own biases on you.

I am allowed to be angry, sad, passionate, happy, feel, emotional, human. Ultimately, I fought for this space and want everyone after me to simply be.

Signed,

A Black woman.