Why the great reset of 2020, was exactly what I needed

2020. 

It used to spark so much joy and spoke of so much promise. After all, it’s the number of perfect vision. In November, I sat down and wrote 40 for 40, a list of affirmations to the universe that I wanted to accomplish in my 40’s. So, in December when my partner asked what I believed 2020 held for me, I told him that it would be a year of building, and that my breakout year would be in 2021. With an air of optimism, we rang in the New Year and the year that was to come.

Little did I know, in mere months, I would be pushed beyond my comfort zone and both a global health pandemic and a racial revolution would be the cause and the effect.

BC (Before COVID), I called myself an event planner by trade and at heart. I have been planning events in some capacity for almost half my life, and while I’ve always had side channels for expressing myself creatively, it was now my primary source of income. I love everything about planning events—from the challenge of putting the puzzle pieces together, to crafting a story that my guests and clients could delight in. 

At the start of the year, I was on track to having my business’ best financial year yet, I was pitching my grand ideas to some of the most well-known people in the industry, and I was finally writing the online course I’d been talking about for the last three years. 

Little did I know, in mere months, I would be pushed beyond my comfort zone and both a global health pandemic and a racial revolution would be the cause and the effect

I felt ready. 

Then March 2020 happened. The first realization of the extent of what was happening came with the cancellation of major events like SXSW, and then the Olympics. The world was shutting down, and so was my own. I cried over cancelled gigs, planned vacations, and the inability to gather socially. COVID-19 was seemingly taking more than just my event planning business, it was taking my freedom, my ability to move, and had paralyzed the identity that I had held onto for over 15 years. 

Though I found myself having to grieve what was supposed to be, I also chose to reimagine the greatest resource that was being given back to me: time. Time to think, breathe, and move forward.

It’s true that event planners cannot have idle hands for too long, so, while the world around me paused, I found the drive to work on the things I had been talking about for too long. With newfound confidence, I rebranded my business, compiled all my writings and media interviews onto one website, and due to my now sudden lack of income, I was forced to build my websites from scratch. I was getting so much done, I was impressing even myself. I even planned an entire year of social media content, but we won’t discuss if any have been implemented yet. Baby steps. 

The world was shutting down, and so was my own

While I worked to conquer new mountains amid a pandemic, one of the biggest lessons I faced was hiding behind humility. I had the resume, and it was time for me to stand confidently in my accomplishments. Though I often criticized others when they would ‘small up themselves’ when they spoke about their projects and businesses, I, too, was guilty of doing the same thing. I would announce something once, but always lacked the confidence, or maybe the discipline, to see it through. Which of course became a vicious cycle of procrastination and self-loathing. Rinse and repeat. 

All of this came to a head when George Floyd was killed right in front of our eyes. The world changed that day, and people who had been silently kneeling in protest were no longer going to be. Companies and entities started to have a reckoning in the treatment of their Black customers, consumers, clients, and employees. And overnight, their need to talk about race increased exponentially. 

While I worked to conquer new mountains amid a pandemic, one of the biggest lessons I faced was hiding behind humility.

A friend of mine even reached out to inform me that a colleague was looking for a diversity and inclusion consultant, which seemed to be the hottest “new” service on the block. I told her, “I’m not a D+I consultant,” but she connected us by email anyway.

I was hesitant to meet. I had friends who had made a career in this field and I didn’t want to encroach in the spaces they had been toiling away in for years. Most importantly, I didn’t want people to perceive me as someone jumping on an innocent man’s death to make a quick buck. But, once again, I had to remind myself that I did have the skills to do this, and if there was a moment where I needed to use my voice the most, it was now. 

Unlike my other ventures, this offered me no time to prepare. Usually, I don’t launch anything until I have all my ducks in a row; I guess it is the planner in me. I need the domain name, landing page, social media accounts, and a logo before I decide to publicly pursue anything. That was not the case here. I had to leap before having any of that established and accept wherever I may land. The risk was big, but the reward was much bigger. In fact, within the first month of my public launch, I had already landed several clients, including a bank. I had stepped away from fear and had entered a brand-new world, full of endless possibilities. I discovered that I was capable of so much more, once I allowed myself the space to pause, pivot and hit reset. 

2020, it seems, had perfect vision for me after all.